please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
