You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
