Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize