You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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