Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
