If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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