guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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