saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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