what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Rumble strips road head = magical
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
