I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Randomize
