I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize