just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
