You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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