I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Man, jail baloney is awful.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize