When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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