A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
either way he was missing a nipple.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
