you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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