love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
