Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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