I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
