so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have beer where we have blood.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize