porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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