You made me cry and you don't even care
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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