She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
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Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
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I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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