You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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