She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
