If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
