Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
