Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
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If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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