If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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