Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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