Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
