I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
