i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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