Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
