I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
