Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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