O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
