is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
