I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Is it penis luge time yet?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
