my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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