ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
