So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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