Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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