If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
How's work?
Spinning.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
