I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
