just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
