Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
