Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
