You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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