i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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