Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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