Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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