hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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