ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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