Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
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Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
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You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just puked most of my soul out..
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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