K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
